Do You Respond or React?

When you are coaching your team, do you respond or react? Do you ever think about what will get the best out of your players?

I understand we work in an intense environment with a lot emotion involved. But most of the time the way we act is based on what we are feeling. We don’t like a call, we yell and scream. A bad turnover and we get visibly upset. Somebody misses a defensive assignment and everyone in the gym knows we are pissed off.

I’ve always said this and believe it to be vital to effective leadership - coaching is not about what you feel, it’s about what your team needs. Very often, those two things are diametrically opposed. You see something you don’t like and you get emotional about it, and you’ve got to let everyone know. You are in charge here and that was unacceptable! It’s reasonable to feel that way, but in the moment is that what your team needs from you? Do they need a high level of emotion - especially negative emotion - when they just made a mistake? In that moment, they need to be coached. They need to move on to the next play. What’s the best way to help them do that?

Admired Leaders had some great stuff recently on the difference between reacting and responding. Read it below. What does our team need from you?

Admired Leaders:

There is a world of difference between reacting and responding to situations, people, and events. 

Reaction is an emotional and reflexive act that is largely unconscious and always impulsive. People are hardwired to react when triggered by something that bothers or scares them. Reaction operates from instinct rather than thought.

In contrast, responding is thoughtful and deliberate. It is a highly intentional and rational decision. A leader decides how they want to respond.

Whenever a leader reacts instinctually, offering raw and uncensored remarks, they become suspect. When those spontaneous retorts are imbued with disappointment, hurt, anger, or frustration, the leader’s credibility comes into question. Strong reactions often escalate whatever negative feelings exist for any of the parties involved. As a rule, reacting rarely leads to positive outcomes. 

Leaders who decide when and how they will respond, as opposed to react, take ownership of the situation and the people involved. Through responding, they purposely shape the trajectory of the exchange and influence how people might positively navigate whatever is at issue. Learning to harness the power of responding over reacting is something good leaders work hard at. 

The best leaders make a conscious commitment to respond more and react less.

Leaders can never positively influence a negative situation with a bad reaction. Responding with just the right message can make an enormous difference. Good leaders respond and leave reaction to others.